Trump Administration Shatters The Record For Letters And Emails Received In A Year

White House Director of Information and Propaganda Art Tubolls has released a statement that the Trump Administration will enter the Guinness Book of World Records for receiving more letters and emails in a year than any organization in history:

“In 365 days beginning on January 21st, 2017, the Trump Administration received 41.6 million unsolicited pieces of correspondence from the public at large. That beats the now runner-up Obama Administration by nearly 22 million.

It wasn’t even close.”

Guinness has confirmed the statement, adding that statistics for the content of the emails are also available and “very impressive”:

“Of the 41.6 million pieces of correspondence, nearly 7 million were to show support. That number isn’t so uncommon. Almost all of Obama’s 20 million were supportive, with about 3 million calling for him to ‘lynch himself’ along with some colorful white supremacy.

What is impressive is that the rest of the stats are record-breakers themselves. Never before has someone been told to ‘go fuck yourself’ more often than Trump in his first year. Nearly 17 million times. We also traced more than 14 million emails to accounts in Russia, which sets a record for most fake emails ever sent to a single entity.

These records should stand for a good long time.”

Trump is said to be excited by the news that nobody gets emails better than him.

About Flagg Eagleton 68 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.