REPORT: President Trump So Determined To Negotiate Budget He Refused To Leave And Sh*t Himself

In the final hours of the negotiations to seal the first budget deal since before Barack Obama took office, President Trump was so determined to make a deal that he “did what he had to” to keep himself in the room.

According to WHOIP Director Art Tubolls:

“President Trump wrote The Art of the Deal because he knows how to win in situations just like this. persistence is the key. He was very, very persistent.”

According to a West Wing staffer, The Eisenhower Board Room smelled like “a dumpster behind Wendy’s when the truck is two days late.” Several Democrats left the room. Freedom Caucus leader Calvin Nederbaker said the Republicans were warned beforehand to “use that stuff coroners use” under their noses:

“The looks on their faces. When Trump looked over at Pelosi, who was so close to vomiting she was in tears, and gave her a smile and a wink, you knew it was over. Ten minutes later she gave the Pentagon the $300 billion our military needs to be great again.”

At the end of the day there was slightly more spending, but with the boom in the economy from Trump’s tax plan there will be plenty of cash to go around for those who already have some. Wall Street brokers are predicting that the economy between now and the next economic collapse will be “phenomenal.”

One analyst said, “The prosperity we saw in the late 80s, through most of the 90s and from 2003 to 2007 will be nothing compared to this boom. More Americans than ever will come out of the next collapse in a great position to capitalize on the losses of others.” One of the ways President Trump became one of the richest people on the planet was by “making good decisions after tragedies and failed economic policies.”

Forbes told us that this era in American history may be seen as the one that weeded out the weak once and for all.

About Flagg Eagleton 68 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.