Feds Serve A Warrant To Dig On Al Franken’s Ranch

Federal Agents from San Paulo surprised Al Franken and his family with a warrant to “dig wherever necessary” to recover evidence of a crime. The warrant, signed by 31st District Judge Melvin Torsoni, gives the FBI a “wide berth” to investigate as it sees fit.

According to the local field office, the Franken ranch in Los Sonoma Del Rio is being searched for “human remains and any other evidence supporting human ritualistic murder.” The agent on duty said she had no worldly idea what “ritualistic” may be referring to, but she did note that after an hour of digging, several agents had come together to hold hands and pray, presumably over something very disturbing.

No word on exactly who they may be searching for, which leaves a pool of more than 700 missing people reported over the past 20 years in Porter County. Multiple cadaver dogs are also on site.

We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.

About Flagg Eagleton 63 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.