BREAKING: Michelle Obama Arrested For Domestic Violence

Michelle Obama was taken into custody by the DC Metro police Monday evening around 9 PM, according to a clerk inside the 9th Street booking station. Police scanner logs from the time confirm that 4 cruisers were sent to the Obama mansion after a 911 call from a “young girl,” presumably Sasha Obama.

There is no official record of an arrest yet, but preliminary reports say that Michelle Obama was “unpredictably violent” and that she was definitely taken from the home in handcuffs.

The Secret Service, forced to draw their weapons until waved off by a higher authority, foiund themselves being told to stand down by former president Obama himself, who told investigators that he “just wanted the episode to be over.”

There is no word yet what the fight was about, but it should be noted that Malia wasn’t there or involved. It appears that whatever the fight was, it sent Michelle Obama into a fit of rage even her mother couldn’t keep calm. One agent on the scene called her “a woman possessed.”

If charges are going to be filed, it should happen within the hour. If she’s let go, the Democrats will do everything in their power to pretend this never happened.

Bring on the fact checkers!

About Flagg Eagleton 52 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.