BREAKING: How Soros Pulled Off Today’s Stock Market Drop

The market dropped 666 points today.

666 points. “And he shall bear the mark of the beast. And that mark is a number of a man. And that number is six hundred and sixty-six.”

Friends…we are living a biblical nightmare. George Soros, who many believe to actually be the anti-Christ, sent the market tumbling today by an astounding — and extremely transparent — 666 points. How? It was simple. According to the public trading log of Novus Ordo Seclorum Inc (NOSI -1.004), Soros dumped all of his Apple stock after a “rumor” started about low iPhone 8 sales.

Next, Soros operatives embedded in the Fed sent memos that interest rates would be on the rise soon as the public deals with “the imminent removal of Trump after backlash from the fabricated Nunes memo.” Between a major product failure and bad news from the Fed, one man from Hungaria lost money for anyone with a 401K in this country.

The SEC has said it will look into the shenanigans on the floor today and the mess the Soros people caused, but they seem to think it may have all been legal:

“None of that had to do with insider trading. Had the people getting the info from Soros reported it rather than selling their clients under the bridge, we might be having a different discussion. The bottom line is, George Soros is smarter than Donald Trump and his entire team of federal stooges.”

That last statement seemed a little unnecessary until we examined it further. George Soros may be the only man on the planet with a leg-up on Trump. It’s almost like Trump was sent here by God to keep some of his angry children pacified. We already know he was sent here for many reasons. Maybe we should add one more.

About Flagg Eagleton 68 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.